What to Do After a Break Up
Episode 28
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Disclaimer: The materials and content within this podcast are intended as general information only and are not to be considered a substitute for professional legal advice or a consultation with a lawyer.
1. Family Law Tip of the Week
If you are working with an attorney on your family law case, remember to tell that person everything that might be important to your case right at the beginning. If you do this, even in the worst of situations, your attorney will have the opportunity to formulate a strategy to mitigate the potential damage to your case. In situations where a person fails to tell their attorney “everything,” they risk destroying their case if the “issue” is raised at trial in front of a judge with no chance to regroup.
If you’ve hired an attorney, that person is on your team! Do not feel afraid or ashamed. In the interests of your case and your family’s future, always be honest and up front with your lawyer.
2. What to Do After a Break Up With Jibby Bond
Jibby is a personal trainer, an accountant, a life coach, a poet and an entrepreneur. In this episode, she talks with The Family Law Insider about what to do after a break up.
IMMEDIATELY after a break up, pause. Breathe. Get into the present moment. Listen to your heart. Understand there is something to learn from this situation. By pausing, this will allow you to get your head around the circumstances surrounding the break up.
Next, Jibby recommends talking to someone close to you. Ask for support. Try not to be alone. Find someone you trust to be there for you in the first few moments. For many people, it may be difficult to ask for help. Be brave. Have courage.
Jibby recommends the expression of all painful emotion. This is therapy and a release that is necessary for healing. Without release, you affect your ability to take in life’s gifts. Not expressing your emotions increases stress which can affect your health.
Here are the 5 most important steps that Jibby recommends if you are going through a break up:
A. Take 24 hours and feel.
This is the day you give yourself permission to fall apart. Cry. Stay in bed. Release your emotions.
Remember that tomorrow is a brand new day. Realize things will get better.
B. Make a thankful list.
Create your list somewhere you can see it. Post it. Keep it up. Try to understand that there still are beautiful things in your life.
C. Do a physical and mental cleanse.
As you take a shower every day, imagine that all the feelings and emotions that no longer serve you are going down the drain. Meditate. Clear your mind. Set your day up.
In terms of setting up your day, Jibby recommends taking at least 5-10 minutes of solitude each morning. Figure out what you have to get done that day and who you want to be that day. Create your intention for the day.
For the person who is new to setting up the day, find a Pandora station related to yoga or meditation and turn it on. Write down what you need to do on a sheet of paper, rip it off and take it with you. Just start doing this for short periods of time. Once you form this habit, you will find you want more and more time each morning to set up your day.
D. Get to your core.
Rediscover your passions. Start living them. Remind yourself who you are. Getting to your core can be as simple as cooking, writing, playing a new game or working out.
It is important to get back to your core because in many relationships, people tend to lose themselves. It is OK to be selfish to reclaim yourself, grow and transition. Not only that, but it will fill your time and give you something to think about.
If you are in a relationship, to avoid unhealthy co-dependence, Jibby recommends carving out time for yourself regularly. This is to allow you to do what you love. This will benefit your relationship.
E. Personal call to action
When negative thoughts come in, create a habit that will remind you to break that thought pattern. You can commit to sending an e-mail to a client or a friend, snapping a rubber band on your wrist or saying a “secret” word when you start to think “bad” thoughts. This will remind you to keep moving forward.
Note: This can work with any type of negativity, not just with relationships.
Repeat steps B-E over and over. Eventually, they will become a way of life!
To close, Jibby leaves us with one of her poems: “Move Forward.”
Jibby’s book is called “Stop and Stare.”
You can find more of Jibby at AbsforDayss.com.
3. Thoughts From the Life Coach
In this week’s thoughts, James reflects on the role of gratitude in your life…even when things aren’t going so great.