The Solution For Never Making a Wrong Decision
Most of the decisions we make each day are “no brainers.” In fact, almost all of us sleepwalk through life without awareness of the thousands of decisions we make by 9:00 a.m.
Have you ever gotten into your car, driven down the street and suddenly questioned whether you turned off the iron, locked the door or closed the garage?
That’s what I thought.
Why does this happen, you ask?
…Because you are operating on default, just like I am. Your daily routine is so “easy” you don’t even have to think about it. You have your script memorized. You aren’t really thinking—you are just going through the motions.
Once in a while, though…every once in a while…you are faced with a decision that threatens to rock your world. You can’t think about anything BUT the decision you have to make. Your inability to make a decision about “the thing” causes you stress…
Do I get married?
Do I get divorced?
Do I quit my job?
Do I accept this new job?
Do I have a baby?
Do I go to trial in my case?
Whether you decide to “go for it” or not, you feel like you are risking it all. You are afraid of being sorry. You are afraid of not trying. You are afraid of not sticking it out.
You are afraid of making a wrong decision.
So what do you do to save yourself from making a wrong decision?
A Real Life Story
Let me show you by way of an example.
I just finished a very stressful journey with someone very important to me. This person had a MAJOR decision to make that could mean the difference between his life and his death. In the course of the experience with my friend, I watched him suffer immeasurably because he was terrified about making a wrong decision.
He didn’t think he knew what the right thing was to do.
So…WHAT did he do? He asked his family to make the decision for him. He asked his friends to make the decision for him. He asked ME to make the decision for him.
When he got a million conflicting opinions about what to do, he would make one decision, then flip flop to the other side a day later. My friend tried ignoring the decision he had to make (which was actually making a decision in and of itself). He would then go back to begging those people in his life to make his decision for him.
My friend lost sleep.
He lost weight.
He lost his sanity.
When he decided he wanted to put an end to his suffering, he made a decision to make a decision.
The Heart Knows
Then he got quiet.
He asked himself “What is the right thing to do here?”
And he listened.
He listened to his heart.
He trusted his own wisdom and intuition.
And he called me late one night last week and told me his decision was made.
I could hear in his voice that he was committed to his decision. He was clear. He was at peace.
He had ended his suffering.
I saw my friend the next day. There was something different about the way he looked that confirmed the way he sounded on the phone the night before. He had changed. He had accepted his fate. He was prepared to accept the outcome of his decision.
And so all of us who care about him shall see how it unfolds. Regardless of how it does though, my friend is confident he will be “OK.” He’s not looking back. The only thing he is concerned about is making it through, moment by moment.
When you are faced with a big decision in your life, YOU are the only one who knows what is right. Asking other people IS helpful because you will get a variety of viewpoints to consider. Asking other people IS NOT helpful because you will get 8 different opinions about what to do if you ask 8 different people.
This has the potential to cause more confusion for you.
Which causes your level of indecision to increase.
Which causes more stress and suffering in your life.
Only YOU know what is right for you. When making a big decision, what is “right” is usually not really clear because there is so much noise happening around the subject. You have to give yourself the opportunity to “hear” what it is that is “right” by creating a space of quiet, silence and solitude.
The Mechanics of Making a Right Decision
Place your hand on your heart. Feel it beating. Focus on that beating.
Focus on the beating some more.
Ask yourself “What is best in this situation?”
Keep your hand on your heart.
Feel the beating.
Listen to your heart speak.
The knowing is right there.
It is inside of you.
Understand it. Follow it. Be committed to it.
When you’ve heard your heart speak and make your decision, be committed to it. Second guessing yourself (or listening to others bemoan your decision) will only cause you more grief. Know you have made the best decision for YOU and since this is YOUR life, YOU are the only person who matters.
Be resolved to accept the consequences of your decision. Know that regardless of the outcome, you will be OK.
You will survive. You will learn. You will grow.
Your decision will never be a wrong decision. (Read this post for 12 Reasons to Never Regret Any Decision You Ever Make.)
Sending you my wishes for a week in which you trust in the decisions of your ever-evolving heart.
All my best,
P.S. What are the things that help guide you when you’ve made big decisions in the past? Talk to me in the comment section below!