Stop Living Someone Else’s Dreams and Start Living Yours
Do you ever feel resentful because you’re living someone else’s dreams instead of your own?
Are you constantly worried about what others think of you?
Are many of the actions you take on a daily basis dictated by what you think will make other people happy?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, I feel your pain. I’ve been there, and I’ve done that. In fact, I find myself answering “yes” to each of these questions more often than I want.
I want to stop living someone else’s dreams. I want to start living mine. Want to join me?
It could be fun…
I have some ideas. From me to you, here they are:
1. Living from the heart.
You know that obsession with wondering what others are thinking about us? Well, that’s called living in our heads, not our hearts. We have brilliant minds, but the depth and reach of our hearts is infinitely greater.
Living from our hearts is way more satisfying than spending our days overthinking life.
We know we are living from our hearts when we are present in each moment. We are in the moment when we are doing things like laughing, singing or losing track of time all because we are involved in something we love. When we are living from our hearts, we are bursting at the seams with gratitude for the tiniest things.
Examples of simple things to be thankful for?
The birds chirping their songs every morning. The ability to take a hot shower each day. A good night’s rest. A hug from someone we love.
Let’s start doing those things which bring us joy every day.
Let’s start living from our hearts.
2. Say “yes” to ourselves by saying “no” to something we don’t really want to do.
We live in a fast-paced and crazy world. Everyone is busy. Everyone has too much on their plates.
There are many people who want to lighten the load on themselves by unloading things on us. There’s nothing wrong with someone asking for help; I’m a big fan of delegating myself…
BUT, if we are ever going to live the lives we want (and stay sane), sometimes we just gotta say “no.” Let’s put the guilt aside and really think about whether we sincerely want to say “yes” to a request someone has made. If we think by saying “yes” we will feel stressed out or resentful, then let’s promise to just say “no,” OK?
It will feel good. I think we’ll be less stressed. By saying “no,” we’ll have more time to do the things WE want to do.
There is great power in saying “no.”
3. Identify our childhood patterns and stop living the ones that no longer serve us.
Chances are that our parents did the best job they could in raising us. In bringing us up, they probably taught us in a way they thought would best protect us from the “big, bad world.” Our moms and dads cultivated behavior and habits they believed would help us become successful, productive grown-ups.
A lot of what our parents taught us were things their parents taught them. And…the things their parents taught them were the things THEIR parents taught them. Rather than make a conscious decision about is being taught, generally speaking, parents just teach what they were taught.
Let’s start thinking about the learned behaviors that no longer serve us. They all may still serve us and if so, cool.
However, if there are things we were taught that don’t work in our lives anymore, let’s be OK with that. We are grown ups now, and we have the freedom to pick the habits and behaviors that work and trash those that don’t. Let’s begin making deliberate choices about the mindset which will dictate how we show up into the world every morning.
Let’s stop living on default mode and start living with intention.
4. Do something that makes us happy every single day without exception.
Each of us is put on this earth to be happy. That includes you. And me.
How about starting to fulfill our true purposes by doing those things which bring us joy?
If you haven’t figured out what things make you happy (or you have forgotten what they are), here are some ideas to get you started. (Feel free to add to this list or make up your own things, too):
Reading, writing, dancing, singing, exercising, cooking, painting, drawing, gardening, helping, meditating, praying, hunting, feeding, nurturing, or creating.
Let’s experiment and re-discover what we LOVE to do. Let’s commit to doing that thing (or those things) we love every single day for at least 10 minutes. As time and scheduling permit, why can’t we do those things we love MORE THAN ten minutes a day every single day?
Then, as we increase the frequency and duration of doing the things we love, let’s watch our lives transform!
Final Thoughts on How to Stop Living Someone Else’s Dreams
As a final note, remember that what other people think of us is NOT our business. There is no way we will ever be able to please everyone in our lives. It wouldn’t matter if you were the Dalai Lama, and I were Mother Theresa. There still would be haters.
Let’s stop living someone else’s dreams and start living ours.
Are you with me?
Sending you my wishes for a week in which you live your dreams.
All my best,