A Pair of Predictions From Your Family Law Fortune Teller
I am a family law fortune teller. A good one, too. In fact, I am soooo good, today, I am going to share a pair of predictions about YOUR life.
You may or may not be ready to hear this information. This pair of predictions from your family law fortune teller is not the result of me being a lawyer. It is the result of me being human and having been hurt in the past. This pair of predictions is real and true and if you want to be happy, you’ll be interested in what I have to say.
Let me share a little bit about how I became such an expert fortune teller.
About 18 years ago, I found myself addicted to psychics. It was probably the very worst time of my life. It should have been the best.
I was 24, and I just had graduated from one of the top ten law schools in the nation (Hints: Lou Holtz, “Rudy” and The Four Horsemen). I was headed back home to sunshine and swimming pools after three years of “hard” time in the frozen tundra of South Bend, Indiana. My family and friends in Phoenix could not wait to celebrate my return.
I, on the other hand, found myself curled up in a ball in the front seat of my turquoise blue Ford Courier sobbing as my brother drove us across the country back to Arizona. I was inconsolable. I was in a deep depression.
I had just had my heart broken.
If you know me at all, you know how important romantic love is and has always been to me. You know that one of the only things I ever wanted was to find the right guy, get married, have kids and live that white picket fence life. You will also know that for the better part of 20 years, I found myself on the “dumpee” side of all my relationships (See: Why Am I Always Being Dumped? Being the Dumpee Sucks.)
When I found love during my third year of law school, I thought my ship had finally come in. I believed he was the one. I invested my whole soul into the relationship because this man was my life’s partner, my forever and ever, my amen.
I was in deep. So deep, that I was blind. And so blind that when he ended it, it hit me like an unsuspecting doe who just had gotten slammed by a Mack truck.
I seriously thought my life was over. I didn’t know how I could move forward. I refused to believe that I would ever find someone “as good.” I kept replaying the whirlwind, romantic early days of our romance in my head, talking myself into the fact that he would someday come back to me.
I needed someone to tell me everything would be OK, so I went to confession. The priest insulted me. He insisted I hadn’t told him “everything” about my sins. He had nothing compassionate to say except for the standard “I absolve you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.”
That hurt me. I needed something. Something more.
I started consuming every self-help book I could get my hands on, looking for answers. I became a student of astrology, trying to connect the stars so I could learn who I was and where I would end up. I started paying psychics on a regular basis to give me the tiniest shred of hope that I would find love with this man again.
During my sessions with the psychics, they read my palm, used tarot cards, spun pendulums in front of me, and cast runes at me. This went on for years.
For at least 5 years, I didn’t really feel like myself. I was looking everywhere and at everyone else trying to find happiness again. During this madness, one day I realized something really crazy.
What I finally understood was that despite taking this very long, painful detour looking for love and joy, all roads lead back to one place:
Years of my life wasted? No. Yes, sometimes I wish I had been able to just flip a switch to gain this understanding on the drive home from South Bend. For the most part though, I am OK with that very painful part of my life.
I learned a lot from many different people. And yes, I even got some good stuff from those fortune tellers. It took me a long time to understand what I was hearing from everywhere and everyone.
I just wasn’t ready to receive this information until…until… Until I was ready.
If you are not ready to hear this today, its OK. Someday you will be. So…ready or not…here is the pair of predictions (GUARANTEED to come true) from your family law fortune teller:
1. Your future happiness depends on your ability to let go of the past. (Click to tweet this!)
What’s done is done. No matter how hard you try, you cannot change what has happened. If the past doesn’t give you joy, look at it only to learn something from your experiences. By continuing to fixate on a painful past (beyond the amount of time you need to move through your grief), you are causing yourself to re-live those experiences again.
Why are you doing this? You don’t have to. Make a choice about your thinking. Choose different thoughts.
Choose to think about what is happening to you right now. This very second.
2. If you let fear motivate your actions, you rob yourself of the joy of the present moment. (Tweet this one, too!)
Nobody can really predict exactly what a person will do or how a situation will play out in the future. If you live your life making up stories (I am good at this one) about what you THINK might happen or what you THINK a person might do, you are living in Fantasyland.
Don’t worry too much about the future. Make the best choices for your life in the moment you are making them. Live your life the way you want to live it, keeping in mind your actions will have consequences. Be willing to accept what comes of your choices, but don’t be afraid about what might happen.
Be fearless. Be present. Be in this moment.
When I decided to start making a conscious effort to live in the present, I also decided to stop wearing a watch. I chose this to remind myself that the only time that truly matters is RIGHT NOW.
As a family law fortune teller, I am well aware that anyone who has a case must show up in court and meet deadlines ON TIME. To that extent, both me and my clients have to watch the clock. In Arizona family law, we don’t necessarily count days (to meet deadlines) like you would think; there are some special rules about HOW to count days. In this week’s featured Hernandez Family Law post, we tell you those rules in Do You Remember the Time? (Divorce Time). Good info, peeps.
Back to my fortune telling…
I don’t have a crystal ball. I can’t read tea leaves, nor do I have any runes sitting around in my office. I don’t use tarot cards in my practice, and I can’t read palms, either.
I do, however, know that despite what has happened in your past, you can be happy. I don’t care if she dumped you. I don’t care if the judge screwed you in the decision. I don’t care if you are broke.
You CAN be happy.
Stop obsessing over yesterday. And stop worrying about tomorrow. Start living in this moment. (Tweetable!)
Sending you wishes for a week in which you have the present of “presence.”
All my best,
P.S. How can you remind yourself to live in this moment? Leave me a comment below and tell me.
P.P.S. The Family Law Insider Podcast has just been released! From now on, every week we will be bringing you an episode with tips, tricks and thoughts from local AND national experts on all kinds of subjects (not JUST law stuff). The episodes are available on our blog, but you can also subscribe via iTunes and Stitcher Radio. Cool stuff, my friends!