Letting Go of Resentment
Disclaimer: The materials and content within this podcast are intended as general information only and are not to be considered a substitute for professional legal advice or a consultation with a lawyer.
1. Family Law Tip of the Week
If you are going through “stuff” with your ex or soon-to-be-ex and you share kids in common, never, ever, EVER involve the children. Don’t make them courier child support payments to the other parent. Don’t have them deliver messages to your ex. Don’t tell them what happened at your last court date.
Let them be children. Let them enjoy their lives. They deserve it.
2. Letting Go of Resentment with Anil Gupta
Anil Gupta is an author, speaker and coach who focuses on awareness, fulfillment and and happiness. In this episode of The Family law Insider, Anil talks about “Letting Go of Resentment.” The quality your life is totally dependent on the quality of forgiveness you are able to extend in your life.
Resentment is like taking poison and hoping that someone else dies. There is a cost to you if you have resentment. Resentment harms you emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.
If you master the discipline of awareness, you will master your life. If you have awareness in each moment of your feeling, you have a choice about how to feel. Awareness gives you clarity.
Ultimately, each of us is looking for fulfillment. You cannot have that in your life if you are not letting go of resentment.
Acquiring awareness is very simple. Give yourself reminders about being aware. Pretty soon, you become aware of being aware. The development of awareness is a muscle.
To find out what awareness feels like, notice what you are feeling in this instant. Notice what is happening around you. Notice your environment.
So, when you are in a conversation with another, you can notice whether you are really being present and aware. Strive to be aware during your interactions with others.
In Anil’s opinion, it isn’t possible to be aware 100% (unless you are enlightened). As you become aware and aware of being aware, your life changes.
Many people are addicted to feelings of anger or resentment. According to Anil, the reason we do this is because we like to be right. There is a cost to our health, passion and self-expression if we always are wanting to be right.
As humans, we all are meaning-making machines. You and I make up stories. However, if you look at actually what happened vs. the cost and what would happen if you let the “thing” go, you can make a choice about not being angry. This doesn’t mean that the other person “has gotten away with anything.”
Keep in mind, there is a difference between forgiving and forgetting. By forgiving, you open up your own life. Change the focus to the magical moments you had with the other person. The clarity then comes into your situation.
By letting go of resentment, you are not forgetting about what happened, but you are opening up new possibilities for yourself.
Letting go can happen in an instant. In Anil’s book, Immediate Happiness, there is a chapter/exercise on forgiveness. This will help immensely. It helps you to realize the benefit to YOU. This is not about the other person, it is about YOU.
Forgiveness will give you the clarity. Once you have the clarity, you can enjoy life. Your vibrational energy will change. You will attract different people into your life. Doors will open all over the place for you.
Happiness vs. Fulfillment
Fulfillment is internal. It is deeper than happiness. Happiness is external.
Here are the pathways to fulfillment (The Three “G’s”):
Give your time, energy, commitment, love and joy without expectation of anything in return.
Have Gratitude for everything in your life.
Commit to Growing emotionally, physically, spiritually or mentally. (This is the secret when you are having a relationship issue. Look after your body. Mind your thoughts.)
You Are Your Thoughts
You can generate any thought at will. You can generate a negative thought or a positive thought. You can change your life with your thoughts. You aren’t changing the circumstances of your life, but you are changing how you view your life.
Focus on the things that are working in your life. Look for the positives. Change your focus.
The first step after “losing it all” is to focus on what you have left.
The second step is to “serve.” Look at ways at how you can help, guide, and nurture others.
The final step is to forgive yourself. (Don’t be afraid to ask for support here.)
It all starts with your level of awareness.
An easy way to serve others is to give the gift of you. Smile! Give a compliment. Serving others can be saying “thank you” or calling a friend.
You never know what another person is going through. By giving the gift of yourself, you might save someone else’s life.
Final Thoughts on Forgiveness
Remember that forgiveness is all about YOU. You don’t necessarily have to make contact with the person you want to forgive. Letting go of resentment is something you can do within yourself.
It is very simple. Life doesn’t have to be complicated.
Take a look at Anil’s book, Immediate Happiness. It is a book, but it is also a manual. It teaches you methodology. Knowledge is power, but not without implementation. Do the exercises and you will receive immediate, powerful changes in your life.
You can find Anil at immediatehappiness.com.