Choosing Your Divorce Allies

Choosing your divorce allies wisely is the most important thing you can do for yourself during turbulent times.   In fact, you cannot afford not to align yourself with the right people during divorce.  In choosing your allies, you should place a lot of weight on qualifications and experience when deciding which attorney you’d like to represent you; unfortunately, when people are choosing attorneys, there is an important characteristic they often overlook:

 

VALUES.  

 

Does your potential attorney possess the same values you do?

 

Lawyers often describe themselves as “bulldogs” or “aggressive”, as though those things are always positive characteristics in selecting an attorney.  Lawyers sometimes will make false guaranties of winning and promises of aggressively fighting for your best interests.

Pulling together in the same direction.
Pulling together in the same direction.

Be advised: being “aggressive” sometimes translates to unnecessary litigation and bull-headedness.  Being a “bulldog” often means there is little to no willingness to compromise in areas that should be settled quickly, WITHOUT going to court.  You see, more conflict requires more formal (and informal) dealings with your lawyer and the other party. This translates to more attorney’s fees being generated to accomplish case resolution.

 

In these situations, the only people that truly profit are the attorneys.

 

There may be times when you want to remain steadfast regarding your demands, but understand that if both parties can’t agree, a judge will be forced to make the decision for you.  This makes the process longer, more painful, and more expensive.  The worst thing about forcing a decision to the judge is the fact there is no guarantee about the result.

 

This is scary.

 

And expensive.

 

And often disappointing.

 

Finding an attorney with similar values as yours is invaluable when hard decisions need to be made.  Your attorney can help you weigh the options, choose your battles and strive for what will best serve you in the future.  By choosing your divorce allies wisely, together, you can plan an outcome that serves the highest good of your family.

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