You Are Not Alone
A wise woman once told me to be kind to every person I meet because at any given time, each of us is either hurting or healing inside.
I never thought much about what she told me until I started to think more about the events of the last week.
One of the conclusions I have reached is that my friend was right. We all suffer. We all want to feel better.
I was in the grocery store when I heard the news about Robin Williams. My heart shattered.
Who would’ve ever guessed that the one with the sparkling blue eyes and toothy grin was in such despair, he couldn’t bear to see the sun rise another day?
Inside, I feel fragile and achy. Why am I having such a hard time getting over this?
I can’t say.
What I can say is that my mourning (about a man I didn’t even know) told me to sit up and pay closer attention. Something told me that when I am with someone, to really listen, look and see them. Something told me to try and give every person more of what every person in this world needs.
More than ever, today, my eyes are open. I see and hear about suffering all around me.
Yesterday, I saw it in the eyes of an 80+ year old man. He was funny. And wise. And kind.
He was also lonely.
When I talked to him, it was clear that the sadness was because he lived a life in which he didn’t fully express the love and desire within his heart. He never married because he didn’t think he would ever amount to “enough” to be able to support a wife and family. Although he was at peace with this reality, this reality still caused him sorrow.
It caused me sorrow for him.
He didn’t think he deserved to have the love of a woman because of what he did. He didn’t think he was enough. He thought he would be a burden more than a blessing to someone.
This weekend I saw someone I love very much. Although distance had caused a 32 year separation between us, the bond remained strong. For a couple of precious hours, we were able to share our lives and our hearts with each other.
I was grateful to hold her in my arms.
Yesterday, she wrote a Facebook post that evidenced the many difficult experiences she has endured in her life.
She said that even though there were people everywhere, she felt alone.
My heart aches. For my 80 year old friend. For my dear friend I just saw.
My heart aches because I suffer inside, too. Today, my pain has risen to the surface. It simmers, bubbles, and is begging for someone to pay attention to it.
I also feel alone. I know I am not.
What can I do? How can I stop thinking about all this loneliness in this world? Can I do anything to help?
All you can do is be in this singular, beautiful, doubt-filled moment. In spite of and because of your pain, if you are open, you can see the pain in every person you meet. Every person you meet needs what you have to offer.
Give it to them.
Give your love to everyone.
That includes the nasty worker at the supermarket. And the guy who cut you off in traffic this morning. And the friend who won’t return your calls. The boss who gets on your nerves. The ex-partner you can’t stand. And the kid who bullies your kid at school.
These people need you – your love – more than anyone. Be kind to them. Compliment them. Ask them how their day is going. Send them a silent prayer for peace.
As for the pain you feel inside…
Remember to pay attention to the whispers of your heart. Remember who you really are.
You are lovable. You are capable. You are deserving.
You are connected to me. And everyone.
You are not alone.
Today, more than ever, sending you all my love.