4 Things Men Need to Know to Prevent Infidelity
Episode 52
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Disclaimer: The materials and content within this podcast are intended as general information only and are not to be considered a substitute for professional legal advice or a consultation with a lawyer.
1. Family Law Tip of the Week
If you are thinking about filing for a divorce and are concerned don’t exactly know what credit card debt your partner racked up while you were married, order a credit report. It is cheap, easy and accurate.
2. 4 Things Men Need to Know to Prevent Infidelity
David Shade, The Masterful Lover, discovered a lot of secrets (men are missing) in his own journey from divorce to singlehood. In today’s episode of The Family Law Insider, David shares his own story and talks with us about the things men need to know to prevent infidelity in their relationships.
It Seemed Like A Happy Marriage
“I gave up on believing in me.”
Getting into marriage, David didn’t believe enough in himself to think he could find the woman he really wanted. His ex-wife wasn’t exactly the woman he wanted, but to him, there seemed to be good things about her and those were “enough.” In the marriage, David was happy and everything else in his life was going pretty well for 8 years—from his perspective. Outward appearances aside, there was a lot was going on of which David wasn’t aware.
“The husband is always the last one to know.”
After a couple of years of what he thought was a happy marriage, David found out his ex-wife had a boyfriend. Shortly thereafter, she filed for divorce and left him with their children.
David took responsibility and sought to figure out what he had done wrong. Over the years, he came to discover that the failure of the marriage was ultimately his responsibility. David came to the conclusion that he had selected wrong. In other words, he chose the wrong person.
“I noticed I lost respect from her.”
David’s ex-wife never sat down with him to tell him how she felt (until she revealed she wanted a divorce). But… in some way, she did communicate by constantly nagging him. She was doing what she knew to do when she became frustrated, but David didn’t know how to address that. He felt that he was walking on eggshells until it came to a point where he felt like he couldn’t do anything right.
Emotional Connection
“I loved her but I was never in-love with her.”
David realized that throughout the years of marriage, they never became each other’s best friends. They never developed a deep, emotional, intimacy. At one point, David tried to connect with his wife, but was unsuccessful.
Things started to go downhill from there until his wife began seeing another man. This lead them into divorce. Although David never got an explanation from his ex-wife, he soon figured out why this happened.
Success Begins With Choosing Wisely
“Everything had to do with selecting the right woman.”
Your job as a man is to select your partner wisely. Choose the right person and then do the rest of your job. If you select wisely, your partner will naturally and perfectly respond to what you properly do. And, she’ll hold you responsible for your screw-ups. Keep in mind that what a man does doesn’t work on every woman. There are a lot of women where a man does all the right things, yet it doesn’t work for them.
If this happens to you, you should be asking yourself whether you have selected wisely.
4 Tips From David
“Nothing’s gonna change until they accept responsibility.”
Through his experiences, David has learned what a woman has to feel to have a successful relationship. First of all, there has to be attraction. There also has to be trust, respect, and so on. After the foundation is in place, here are 4 things men need to know to prevent infidelity:
1. She has to feel special.
She has to feel that she’s supported by her man, that she’s unique among all others, that she’s the queen, that she’s adored… and that he’s got her back.
2. She has to feel a deep, intimate, emotional connection.
This means that she receives an emotional reward by sharing with her man. When she has emotions, the first person she thinks of going to is her man.
3. She needs to enjoy the things that come with being a woman.
She needs to feel feminine, beautiful, sexy, adored, and desired.
For women with serious self-esteem issues, support her in going forth to work on herself. (This is her responsibility. You can’t do it for her, and nothing works unless she wants it to. In fact, the harder you try, the worse it could get.)
4. She needs to have hot, passionate sex.
When it’s good, she can’t get enough. Some people might think that by making sex better, the relationship gets better. However, hot, passionate sex doesn’t exist unless the first three things (above) are in place.
How He Helps
During David’s coaching experience, he started seeing challenges men have that he was never aware of. He saw what they were doing wrong that was causing the challenge. David starts helping men by helping them with themselves and then by helping them become effective in their relationships.
David Shade has 9 authored books and has many other resources to help men with in their intimate relationships. If you are a man who wants David’s help, go to DavidShade.com for more information.
3. Thoughts From the Life Coach
In today’s thoughts James talks about pity parties.