The Menopausal Mom on Mating, Marriage and Making it All Work
Disclaimer: The materials and content within this podcast are intended as general information only and are not to be considered a substitute for professional legal advice or a consultation with a lawyer.
1. Family Law Tip of the Week
If you are ready for divorce, but your spouse is the one controlling the finances, there is a way you could possibly get funds with which to hire an attorney to represent you. Check your local rules to see if there is a provision allowing you to file something along the lines of a “Petition for Temporary Orders” (which is a vehicle to ask the court for financial relief pending trial).
2. The Menopausal Mom on Mating, Marriage and Making it All Work
Marcia Kester Doyle, AKA as “The Menopausal Mom,” is a wife, mother, author, and blogger. She has been married for 30 years and has 4 kids. Like in any marriage, she and her husband, Mack, have had their ups and downs.
During her marriage and life, Marcia and her husband have suffered devastating losses. In addition, she has battled her own demons (depression). When she reached breaking points in her life, Marcia had to tell herself “this isn’t forever.”
If you are going through difficult times, have faith and remember what you are going through is temporary.
Marcia had depression issues even as a child. However, it wasn’t something that drove her to seek professional help until recently. Menopause caused the depression issues to reach a level where she needed additional support.
Marcia and her husband’s conflict styles have changed over the years. As with most couples, when first married, she and her husband dealt with jealousy, insecurity issues, etc. Once kids came into the picture, they started experiencing power struggles over the management of time as related to the kids. Then, later in the marriage, financial issues started to come into play.
For Marcia, writing was the best form of self-expression to deal with these challenges. She believes if you don’t have an outlet, you risk causing yourself to explode (which isn’t good for anyone). Marcia advocates finding your passion and expressing yourself through that. Much of Marcia’s family life is reflected in her writing.
When it comes to authenticity (in person), if she is close to someone, Marcia can be as authentic (in person) as she is in her writing. When it comes to meeting new people, however, she can be shy until she gets to know you. Marcia believes it is important to be authentic, but you have to balance your authenticity with tact.
To make time for yourself (and thus hold it all together), you have to get organized. Write things down and create lists. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you are trying to be a super-parent, you can’t do it all by yourself. Find a support system (other moms if you are a mom yourself) so you can realize you aren’t alone.
In her life today, finances still cause Marcia angst. She also would like to lose some weight. However, now, she has a perspective such that she isn’t going to let these things destroy her life. She tells herself “it’s OK,” and keeps working at those things that frustrate her.
Marcia’s writing is inspired by her family. However, the real reason her blogging came about was because of her father, who read something she wrote (and encouraged her). Marcia’s sister also played a big role in her writing career. Both Marcia’s father and sister have since passed away, and a big part of the reason she writes is because of and for them.
Marcia has a new book coming out soon (probably July), “Who Stole My Spandex: Midlife Musings from a Middle-Aged MILF.” For the aspiring book writers out there, Marcia recommends blogging as a way to get your start. Journaling is also powerful. Also, recruit friends to read your pieces and give you feedback.
Marcia’s parting words: Don’t take life so seriously. Take a deep breath. Ask yourself “How much is this going to matter one year from now?” If you have a passion, don’t lose sight of it. Remember to laugh at yourself and look at the funny side of life.
Marcia is thankful for Nutella, wine, her husband, her children, her mom, and her health.
3. Family Law News
In this week’s news, Matt talks about the pitfalls (and benefits) of donating organs to your spouse.