How to Negotiate With God

Holiday cheer, holiday shmear.


Regardless of what part of the world you are in, wherever you look, there are lights, presents and Christmas trees everywhere. Holiday frenzy is in full force and effect.


While this particular time of the year serves as a mood-booster for many, for others, it is traumatic and overwhelming.


For some people, it doesn’t matter how “good” they’ve been…there is little, if anything, they can do to change their life’s reality. If you are one of these people…I understand. You could go to every mall within a 10 mile radius and tell Santa Claus what it is you want. It won’t matter; no amount of wishing will be able to change the reality of your painful or difficult situation:

How to Negotiate With God
How to Negotiate With God

…the memory or loss of a loved one


…the breakup of a relationship


…the first year as a single mom or dad


…the inability to conceive a child


…the lack of money for food or shelter


…a miserable work situation


…a “no work” situation


…unhealthy or non-existent family relationships


…a debilitating health condition



We All Suffer.  We All Feel Pain.


I am sorry for whatever you are experiencing. I hurt for you. I understand your pain because I experience my own every day.


It’s true. There are things about my own life that cause me hurt. These things are there each morning when I wake up. They are with me, unwelcome, but ever-present companions keeping me company as I move throughout my day.


I put on my smile. I work hard. I do my best to be present in each moment. I fail more often than I want to. I reach my breaking point sometimes, and then…I meltdown.


I feel powerless. I am powerless.



Does God Negotiate?


In those moments, I try to negotiate with God.


I beg him. I offer to give him something in exchange for those things I want in (or want to disappear from) my life. I don’t hear him talking back. I wonder if he’s there. I wonder if “he” will ever help change things for me.


Does he negotiate?


I don’t know.


And I don’t know if you believe in God, either.


Whether you do or you don’t, it doesn’t matter. At some point in your life, if you aren’t experiencing it already, you will experience grief. When you do, there wouldn’t be anything you wouldn’t negotiate with anyone (including God) to feel relief. You will find yourself whispering in the darkest hour of the night for peace in your heart.


I don’t know when peace will return to your life. I do know that it will if you want it to badly enough. I have no idea if the re-entry of peace in your life will have anything to do with God, the devil or the car salesman down the road.



Resisting Your Life’s Reality ——> Suffering


Until it happens though, I can tell you this: You are not alone in what you are feeling. There are others out there suffering, too.


Consider the fact that those who are suffering might be the people closest to you. They also might be the guy in the cubicle next to you at work, the cashier at Macy’s or Santa Claus’ elf-helper at the mall.


Our suffering is temporary. It comes from resisting life’s reality.


What would happen if we tried to let ourselves simply “be” with our hurting this holiday season? What would happen if every single day, we worked a little bit on accepting the way things are? What if we told yourselves, “It’s OK. I’ll be OK.”?


I don’t know for sure, but I think we might find a little comfort by letting go of resistance.


Above all, remember your life is a gift. YOU are a gift. There are people who love and need you.



The Only Currency You Will Never Deplete


This holiday season, be with the people who love and need you. With as much energy as you can muster, express your love for them. Allow them to love you.




You have it inside you. It is the only currency you will never deplete. Whether you realize it or not, by giving more love, you will be negotiating for more love in your life.


It is this love that will heal your heart. This love will bring you peace. My wish for you is that this love will bring you everything you need during the holidays and always.


Sending you my wishes for a week filled with nothing other than love.


All my best,


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