The Biggest Thing You Need In a Family Law Lawyer? Think Miley Cyrus

You, Miley Cyrus and I all share something in common. There is one thing the three of us need. Having this thing could mean the end of a lot of problems and drama in our lives.


Today, I’m going to give it to you straight and tell you what this thing is. First though, let’s dish about MTV, the Video Music Awards (VMAs) and Miley a little.


The year MTV rolled out, it was 1981, and I was 11. The artists I watched on MTV defined me as a teenager. Madonna, Duran Duran and Boy George have influenced my life in countless ways. (And yes, I still turned out OK.)


In my opinion, MTV was never better than in the 80s. Neither was popular music. Or the creativity of performing artists for that matter.


Fast forward to now. It’s all gone to pot–MTV, pop music AND the artists. Exhibits A, B and C are Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, and Miley Cyrus.



Can anyone argue with a straight face that the music of any of these people comes remotely close to touching the talent and creativity of Michael Jackson? I think not.


Speaking of Miley, what do you think about her twerking at MTV’s VMAs last week? I think more than anything, she was really annoying. When you examine the offensiveness of the little twerker though, what she did was a lot like Madonna writhing around on the stage singing “Like a Virgin” at the VMAs in 1984.


I’ll tell you the REAL difference between Miley and Madonna. Madonna is smart. Miley is a moron.


Madonna has and always has had a plan for her life and her career. Every move she makes is calculated. If Madonna causes a fuss, it is because she plans it. It isn’t because she is on the verge of falling off the tracks.


Miley, on the other hand, is wandering around aimlessly. She doesn’t seem to have any real agenda except to look, act and talk like an idiot. What has she ever done that caused a ruckus that she actually strategized about first? (Nothing. Nada. Zilch.) And, have any of those things she’s done ever had a real chance of catapulting her to the top as the reigning queen of pop music? (Nope.)


Me thinks that girl needs a Laverne DeFazio-style slap to the face.


Instead, I am going to give her some advice. This advice will help you, too, even if you don’t have any family law issues. It will ESPECIALLY help you, though, if you are wondering about the biggest thing you need in a family law lawyer.


Here it is:


You, Miley and I ALL need a trusted advisor or friend who will give us the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Having someone like this in our lives could save us from heartache. This person could be the one that helps propel us into the greatness that is truly ours.


This person should be strong enough to tell us what we need (but don’t necessarily want) to hear. We don’t need a person who is going to paint a rose-colored picture for us. We don’t need someone to sugar coat the situation. We REALLY don’t need someone who is going to lie to us.


I thank God for that person in my life who told me to get out of that abusive relationship when they did in spite of my “love” for the guy. I am grateful to my girlfriends who stopped me from reacting out of rage to a co-worker who had double-crossed me. I am indebted to my husband who frequently talks me out of buying outfits I love because they “don’t work.”


My life would be waaaaay different but for the counsel of my advisors in the areas of relationships and clothes.


Even though I frequently need my own advice from people I trust, I am also a trusted advisor to many people. And…THIS is what I have to say on THAT topic:


I am a good friend, and I am a good lawyer. If am I either of those two things to you and you come to me asking what you should or should not do in a certain situation, I am going to tell you the truth. That’s what you really want, right?


I promise to always be kind. I will treat you with dignity and respect. I will honor your point of view.


Still, you might not like the truth from my point of view. It might hurt your feelings. It might make you angry with me.


It’s OK. If you need to get mad at someone, get mad at me. Just don’t stay mad at me. And please don’t mistreat me because you don’t like what I am saying (which is the truth about the situation).


I am on your side. Whatever it is I am telling you, I am only doing so because I care about you. I want to protect you. I want to shield you from future pain and misery. I want to stop you from doing something that might wreck your life.


I am not judging you. I am not being unkind. I am not trying to sabotage you.


I KNOW that I do not know everything. I KNOW that I am not perfect. I cannot predict how other people will react if you do follow the best advice I have to offer. I cannot guarantee ANY result.


I have a lot of experience with screwing up. And good communication. And horrible communication. And bad behavior. And rewards. And punishment. And happy families. And unhappy families.


When it comes to problems in the area of families, relationships, and court, this ain’t my first rodeo, cowboy. That is part of the reason I wrote this week’s featured Hernandez Family Law blog post on “The 21 Most Asked Questions About Custody (Legal Decision-Making) and Parenting Time.” If you are having an issue in these areas, you really should take a look at it.


Getting back to the topic of the biggest thing you need in a family law lawyer, though…


Whether it is on custody or something else, if, after hearing what I have to tell you, you decide to do something different, good for you. Go for it. You have to do what is best for you. Only YOU know what that is.


I honor you, and I honor the choices you make. I will support you and be by your side all the way.


If I am your friend, I will do my best to give you what you need. If I am your attorney, I will also do my best to give you the biggest thing you need in a family law lawyer, which is this:



Don’t hate me for it, ok? Just sayin’.


As for Miley?

Get a plan and get an advisor you can trust, lady.


As for me?

I want my MTV. Old school.


Sending you wishes for a week that rocks!


All my best,



P.S. Have you ever had a trusted advisor or friend save you from the throes of disaster? Leave a comment below and tell me about it!


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